Aliens, Mysteries, and Piggys
by Godzilla2915
Summary: Zim, Dib, Gir, and Mini-Moose have found themselves in Gravity Falls for some reason and soon make friends with Dipper and Mabel. Will Zim destroy Gravity Falls? How will Dib react to supernatural of this world? Will Mabel get jealous of Dipper's new 'Mystery Partner? But seriously, how'd they get there? Does not contain disturbing shipping, but does have spoilers.
1. Welcome to Gravity Falls

**Aliens, Mysteries, and Piggys**

**Chapter 1:** Welcome to Gravity Falls

In a small town in Oregon called Gravity Falls, there stood a large shack that houses a very popular tourist trap, I mean attraction called 'The Mystery Shack', surrounded by trees and very weird props. I mean artifacts.

Standing in front if this building, there were four beings. One was a large-headed boy in a black jacket and large glasses. He stood next to another child with green skin and no nose. The Nose-less boy looked over to two creatures which are a small, floating moose that resembles a squeak toy and a plushie dog that was dancing for no reason.

They stood there silently until the big headed child yelled. "Alright, Zim! Where have you taken us? What is this better looking universe?"

The green kid, Zim, grew hostile toward the boy. "Me? Or should you say 'Where have I taken you?!' You Dib Human! As in 'I' is referring to YOU…. Or Gir touched something."

The dog jumped onto Zim's head. "I see a piggy!" The dog ran over to a pot-belly pig which came from the shack. "Hi piggy!"

Zim examined their new location. "Well who ever caused this, which is you. This place looks a lot cleaner."

Dib took notice at his surroundings as well. "You know, you're right."

"AH HA! You did send us here!"

"No I didn't! But this place just makes me … more happy."

Zim thought about what Dib had told him. "Yeah, more pleasure-y-ness is coming off of this place. Even if I'm not trying to enslave the human worms inhabitance."

Dib gasped at the mere thought. "You're not going to get away with this!"

"Get away with what?" asked the oblivious alien.

"I bet your next plan is to conquer this shack! I will not allow it!" Dib looked over at the Shack and read the large sign on top. "Mystery Hack? No wait, Mystery Shack. Huh, my kind of place. Which makes your plan more evil!"

"Mystery? You say?" Zim examined the shack. "What Mystery? Why is a building selling 'Mystery' things? What are they hiding from Zim? ….. Gir! Don't make friends with the enemyyyyy!"

Gir, playing pass the ball with the pig, looked over at his master. "He's not the enemy. The enemy's the enemy."

Then out of the shack's door, an old man walked out to see the four customers. He wore a black suit and a hat with a claw like image on it. He also has an eye-patch and wealds a cane with a magic 8-ball on it. He saw the two kids yelling and was very annoyed. "What are those brats yelling about? They're scaring away good customers."

Then a bunch of tourists walked up to Dib and Zim arguing about something which filled them with fear. "Ahhhh, loud noises!" A child then latched onto his mother. "I'm scared. They yell as loud as those angry guys on the same channel the President like to talk."

Seeing the potential customers running, the old man marched right up to the kids. "Hey, you're scaring away the money!"

Dib and Zim stopped when they saw the threatening man. "Sorry, sir. I'm trying to stop this alien!"

"I'm not an Irken Invader who's planning on replacing your brain with cotton candy! The Dib human LIE!"

Stan got a real good look at Zim and noticed his green skin and no nose. "Well, this could mean you're an alien, or another 'born different' person who'll sue if I say anything offensive. Not making the same mistake again." Stan shrugged off his anger. "Tell you what; I won't chase you off if you spend money. I mean learn about the many mysteries of Gravity Falls."

"He said it!" cheered Gir.

"Mysteries?" Both Dib and Zim said.

"Zim is defiantly scheming his next apocalypse plan. But it looks like he's interested in what this place has as well. Zim wouldn't dare reveal himself now. I could keep an eye on him on this tour. Plus, I really want to see this place." Dib thought to himself.

"Aha! I will examine what secrets the old scary man has and conquer the Earth for the Almighty Tallests! Dib would not expect a thing! Even though HEEE had sent us here!" Zim monologue out loud.

"See, he'd reveal his identity!" shouted Dib. "And I didn't bring us here. You did!"

"Don't listen to DIIIB! His head is big!"

"My head is not BI-"

"Alright, quiet the both of ya!" shouted Stan, which scared the two straight. "Now hold any question till the end of the tour. You can also take that floating toy with you." Stan announced as he points to the moose thing called Mini-Moose.

"Squerk."

"Now let's the tour begin!" Stan led the eager Dib and Zim into the Mystery Shack, unbeknownst to them that Gir and the pig had a visitor.

"Morning Waddles. Who's your new adorable friend?"

* * *

><p>In the Mystery Shack, Stan had led them into his Museum of Mysteries. Upon seeing the exhibits like the corn-icorn, the afro-mermaid, and the juggling washing machine ghost, Dib instantly knew that this was a scam. "Why didn't I see this coming?"<p>

Zim, however, bought everything he saw and what came out of Stan's mouth. "Amazing. I'd never would have imagined such mysterious things are on this planet. Excellent! With this wise human's knowledge, I will conquer the human race, and then make this man into my personal goldfish!"

Stan heard Zim's monologue again. "This is either the stupidest alien ever, or the most clever child that people will feel bad for and sue me." He thought to himself.

At the end of the tour, Stan grabbed a rope attached to a curtain. "Now feast your eyes on the most horrifying and dangerous relic I have ever encountered. Behold the living ventriloquist dummy!"

The pulled curtains revealed a 12-year old boy dressed in black tux with make-up on his mouth to resemble a dummy. Standing next to him was a fat man wearing a t-shirt with a question mark on it. "Oh no! The dummy have taken over my mind!" the fat man said, named Soos.

The boy just sighed from embarrassment, until he'd noticed Zim. "What the?" Seeing pass the disguise, he took out a book with a six-fingered hand and the number three on the cover and skimmed through the pages. "Now let's see what we have for today."

Dib just slapped himself in the face. "Oh come on! Everything here is fake!"

Stan gasped. "Good thing this kid scared the other gullible customers away. Not letting another smart one ruin my business." Stan then shoved him into the gift shop. "Come check out the gift shop! You can have one item for (couch) -10% off."

Stan then turned to Zim who was very pleased. "Sorry about that. You know those 'Non-believers' types."

Zim grinned. "Yes, the earth mole is very 'non-believey'. Can I ask questions now?"

"Certainly. Ask away!"

The boy listened in on Zim's questions and instantly knew that he has to be an alien. "Don't recall seeing alien stuff in here. I think I should talk to that other kid. At least he looks human." The boy hopped off the set. "Cover for me, Soos?"

"You got it, Dipper!" Soos took out a cardboard cutout of the boy, Dipper, and continued to act possessed.

Dipper walked into the gift shop and saw Dib talking to a red-headed fifteen year old girl at the counter. "He's charging five bucks for a pencil?! That has got to be illegal."

The teenager, chewing bubble gum, gazed away from her magazine. "Eh, I don't decide on prices. That will be the manager in there." She pointed at the Mystery Museum.

Dipper removed the make up on this face and asked Dib about Zim. "So, what's with that boy believing everything my Great Uncle said?"

Dib turned to Dipper. "You won't believe me, but …. That's your Great Uncle? And he's treating you as a prop?"

The girl laughed. "You should have seen his wolf boy costume."

Dipper blushed lightly. "Yeah, but I want to know what's up with that kid with no nose and green skin."

The girl lifted her head from the magazine. "No nose and green skin? I got to check this out. Cover for me, Dipper?"

"Sure thing, Wendy." Wendy walked away to the museum and Dipper sat behind the counter. "So about that kid?"

Dib knew that the boy won't believe him, but he just couldn't let the truth be silent. "Listen to me very carefully. That boy is no boy. He is an alien that wants to conquer planet earth. I am Dib, and I single handily stopped all his plans that will cause the end of the human race!"

Dipper paid close attention to Dib, but kind of felt annoyed by his loud voice. "Sounds plausible in Gravity Falls."

Dib then turned away with his head facing down. "I knew you wouldn't believe me. It's just that-" Suddenly he jumped up and grabbed Dipper's shoulder. "You believe me!?"

Dipper felt creeped out by Dib's behavior. He slowly removed his hands off. "Trust me, there are a lot of mysteries going on in this town. And they have nothing to do with what my Grunckle has in there." Dipper pointed to the museum with Wendy spying on Zim.

"For Stan's sake, I hope that's an alien. Would of helped him the last time." Wendy said to herself.

"What's a Grunkle?" asked Dib before shaking off his ponder. "No time to answer. Come, we must face him, together!" Dib grabbed Dipper's arm and pulled him back into the museum.

"Ahhhhhh!" cried Dipper.

Wendy looked at the two. "I wish I have some popcorn right now."

Dib pulled Dipper right to Stan and Zim who was taking down plenty of notes. "Alright, alien. I've finally found someone that believes me and wait wait wait." Dib faced Dipper. "Are you like some kind of psychologist that just wants to 'fix' me?"

"But you're just a child!" cried out Soos.

Stan pinched between his eyes. "Not this kid." Stan pointed at Dib. "Look, I'm trying to run a business. I don't want you to ruin this special, I mean different, I mean good kid's day that just want to dive into the mysteries of the strange, I mean abnormal, I mean unknown."

Zim, playing along with Stan, smiled innocently. "That's right. I'm just a poor defenseless human worm that just wants to discover and grow and eat veggies and cockroaches. You're just a mean, crazy, big headed human that will shiver under my feet!"

"That's right!" said Gir …. Not in disguise.

Zim gasped loudly as Dib pointed with glee, and everyone was just waiting for the next weird thing.

"Giiiiir! What are you doing!?"

Then out came the pig from earlier and a girl that looks identical to Dipper who wore a sweater with a rainbow design stitched on it. "Oh my gosh. You must be the little alien this robot told me about with every inch of detail!" the girl latched onto Zim and pulled off his wig to reveal antennas.

Zim gasped as his fake eyes fell off to reveal his true, pink eyes. "NOOOOOOO!"

Stan, Wendy, Soos, and Dipper stared at aw as Dib just jumped up and down with joy. "YOU SEE! HE IS AN ALIEN! NOW ATTACK AND SAVE THE WORLD!"

Everyone was silent and motionless for a bit, until Stan burst out laughing. "What a relief. For a minute I thought I was going to get sued again."

**End of Chapter**


	2. Friendships are Born

**Chapter 2**: Friendships are Born

"You sir, almost had me." Stan laughed as he forcefully patted Zim on the back. "I'm not gonna go back to court, unless I get something out of it!"

Dib and Zim just stood there, dumbfounded that Stan was just relieved and everyone else was just watching. The girl in the sweater, Mabel, was just having a blast. "You are adorable like your robot GIR. The same one your leaders, the Tallests, gave to all the Invaders to scout and study planets targeted for your Irken Empire!" Mabel smiled and hugged the alien again.

"GIR, how can you possibly reveal everything to this choking human?!" Zim shrieked.

"Because she's awesome!" GIR said as he ran around the room screaming.

Dipper flipped through his book as Soos and Wendy came close. "No, I don't see anything about an 'Irken Empire'."

Dib, still surprised that they're taking this real easy, noticed the book in Dipper's hand. "What are you reading? And can't you see we have a hostile alien?!"

They look at Zim who now held a ray gun as a hostage's head. "Don' t move or the Human gets it!"

"Yaaaay, I'm the human!" cheered GIR within Zim's grasp.

"GIIIIR, you're not a human pig!"

"Human Pig? Where?!"

Wendy looked down at Dib. "Are you sure about that?"

Dib became dumbfounded. "How can you say that? He had caused so much trouble. Like when he pretended to be Santa Claus, or when he was stealing all the kids organs for himself, or when he tried to have all my classmates sucked into a wormhole leading to a dimension of Moose eating on peanuts and-"

"O.K. we get the picture." said Wendy feeling her head.

Dipper closed his book. "This one doesn't say anything about the alien. Probably in the first two volumes."

Dib shook his head. "Why aren't you really really surprised by this?"

Dipper looked at Dib. "I was telling the truth about the paranormal going on in Gravity Falls." Dipper showed Dib the book. "This journal was written by someone unknown. In this volume alone, I've discovered a lot of information on strange phenomenon. Gravity Falls is just like a magnet."

Dib carefully examined a few pages of the book and was amazed. "This is incredible. A story of a life time." He looked at Dipper with eagerness. "How many people know about this? Did you reveal anything to the public?"

Dipper motioned his hands to calm Dib down. "Hold it there. I can't just show this off to the world. There are some people we know of that will probably cause a lot more chaos than that alien." Dipper looked at Zim who somehow lost his ray gun.

"What could possibly be more dangerous than aliens?" asked Dib. "Some psychotic kid? A shapeshifter? A demon?"

Dipper, Wendy, and Soos were pretty much surprised by Dib's guesses. "Woah, you are like some kind of paranormal genius like Dipper here." Soos said in amazement.

"Dipper?" Dib looked at Dipper and remembered what he said earlier. "So then, you really are a paranormal investigator?"

Dipper was admired. "A paranormal investigator? I like the sound of that." Dipper grinned. "So besides that alien, have you encountered anything else … sorry, where are you from, exactly."

Dib then realized the current situation. "Oh, well for starters, I think Zim there sent us to another world."

"You sent us here, DIIIIB!" shouted Zim.

"Is it the world with poor hearing?" asked Wendy who was getting really annoyed by their yelling.

"Well, this world here looks a lot cleaner. And that guy there seems a lot smarter than most people in my world." Dib said as he points to Soos. "I bet even your gullible customers are smarter. They can't even see through Zim's disguise."

They just raised an eyebrow at that fact.

"Are you serious? Even I knew something was up with that kid." said Soos.

"I know." said Dib. "They always call me crazy. Even my own dad thinks I'm delusional. I remember this one time a huge alien crashed into our school, took Zim away, and the only thing the kids responded to was some bird poop on my head."

Dipper was taken back at what Dib said. Dipper, who was not as open to his findings to people as Dib was, did relate to his problems. Thanks for his birthmark, kids would make fun of him. But the ways those kids treat him is probably nothing compared to what Dib have to go through.

"Wow, you're really struggling …. So about Zim?"

They all turned to Zim who was trying to get his ray gun back from Mabel. "You stupid Earth girl, give me that!"

"Hey, Grunckle Stan, catch!" Mabel threw the ray gun and Stan caught it. He watched the small alien trying his best to get it from Stan. "Hey, this is fun. I bet a lot of people will pay-" That was when Stan thought of an idea.

"Oh boy, looks like Stan's gonna display Zim." Dipper said.

"Display, that's perfect!" Dib smiled with excitement. "We can finally expose him to my world and …. That's right, this isn't my home world. Revealing him here would do little to save Zim's true target."

Zim overheard Dib. "My true target? Yes…. Our world's Earth. This man here is clearly too intelligent to be a human from home. I don't even know if the Tallests can teleport here." Zim then gasped. "The Tallests, my base! There could be an intruder. Or what if the Tallests need me! What are the chances of an emergency and I may be the only one to stop it!" Zim yelled as he runs around. "GIR, Mini-Moose, we cannot waste our time here! We must travel back immediately!"

GIR sighed as Mini-Moose was being adored by Mabel. "Do we have to go back? I wanted to perform circus acts with Waddles and Mabel."

Mabel overheard this as well. "Yeah, come on. You can be in the act to. Like you can juggle Bear-O and WAIT A MINUTE!" Mabel's loud shout pierced through the ears of everyone. "We haven't given each other proper introductions!"

Zim pulled on his antennae. "I, ZIIIM, shall never reveal my name to you! Dahhhh! Unhand me!"

Mabel pushed Zim, GIR, Mini-moose to one side and pulled Dipper, Wendy, Soos, Grunkle Stan, and Waddles to the other. She then took out a plastic microphone from the nineties and spoke in it. "I'll go first. Heh, check out my voice. Ohwaohwaohwaoha!" she did this to a few more seconds before getting back to introductions. "Aliens and Dib human. My name is Mabel Pine. The most talented, awesome, fashionable, lovable, cutest, Mabel-y girl in the world. Catch!" Mabel threw the toy microphone and hit Dipper. Dipper felt his head and picked the toy up.

"Uhhh hello, alien. The girl that threw this at me is my twin sister. I'm Dipper Pine. Well I guess you can say that-"

"WHAT KIND OF NAME IS DIPPER? TELL MEEEE!"

Dipper ignored Zim. "I guess you can say I'm a paranormal investigator of Gravity Falls."

"He said it, too!" cheered GIR.

Dipper handed the toy to Soos. "Hey hambro! My name is-"

"Hambro?! I am no Ham brother!"

Soos glanced at Zim cautiously. "My name's Soos. I'm the handyman of the Mystery Shack. If it's broken, I can fix it even better than before."

Soos handed the toy to Wendy. "Hey, I'm Wendy. I like to goof off and have fun. " Suddenly; Wendy let her hair flow in the majestic wind as the sunshine reflects off from it. This was noticed by Dib….

"What, why am I the center of attention?" asked Dib who was actually not forming a crush on Wendy.

Wendy handed the toy to Grunkle Stan. "My name is Stan Pine. The Sole Proprietorship of the 'Mystery Shack'! The only place in Gravity Falls to contain knowledge lost to mankind for generations."

"Yeah right." said Dib who then looked back at Wendy. "Why is there wind in here and where's the light coming from? I don't see a lightbulb or window."

Stan looked at Waddles. "So I guess it's that big-headed boy's turn?"

"No, Waddles want to introduce himself too." said Mabel which made Stan hand the toy over to the pig. Waddles started chewing on it as Mabel threw in her voice. "My name's Waddles. I'm so cute and the best pig in the world!"

Dib walked in and took the toy off Waddles, after playing tug of war of course. "Ew." Dib removed the saliva off. "O.K. I am Dib. A paranormal investigator and the Sole Defender of Earth. Well I don't think it's this Earth. I know for a fact that the alien have sent me and his henchmen here. Hello People, he's standing right there! Do something!"

Zim then pushed Dib away and grabbed the toy. "I am Zim! Inva- I mean Study Person-Alien! I'm peaceful to you human underlings and only want knowledge so I can destroy my enemies peacefully!"

"No you don't!" Dib tackled Zim and the two wrestled as Gir gave his introduction. "I'm GIR! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" GIR ran around the room as Mini-Moose followed.

The Gravity Falls gang just stood there, wishing they have some earplugs; except for Mabel. "I have a feeling we are gonna be best friends!"

Wendy and Soos didn't like the idea so much. Dipper and Stan, however, had other thoughts. "Dib sounds just like me; only louder." Dipper thought to himself. "I haven't actually made any friends my own age. I think I'll at least enjoy his company."

Stan also pondered. "This stupid alien will bring tourists all around the world! Ca-ching!"

The Invader Zim gang finally lost their energy to continue and lay down. "You'll ….. never get away with this …. Zim." Dib panted.

"You've sent us …Haaah.. here Dib! Curse you ….."

"I want nachos!"

Stan looked the alien and boy over and came up with a great idea. "Hey alien and kid. See this compass?" Stan took out a broken compass. "If this blinks, then that will be the guy who brought you here." Stan waved the item over them and nothing happened. "Well what do you know. It looks like neither of you are responsible for … whatever you guys were arguing about."

Dib didn't buy any of this, however Zim gasped. "So if Dib didn't do it, and I didn't do it? Giiiir, did you touch anything?"

GIR jumped up with his eyes glowing red. "_My master. I remember everything_!"

(Flashback)

At the 'Skool's' playground, GIR was in his dog disguise with Mini-Moose floating around as Dib and Zim were arguing about something. Then a random portal appeared and sucked the four all in. And everyone else was completely oblivious to the phenomena.

(End Flashback)

Dib and Zim looked at one another. "Oh yeah, that did happen."

Dib felt the back of his neck. "Even if you did send us here; you could have easily left and be rid of me for good."

"That's a real good point. A real good point." Zim said.

"I guess we all have nothing to do with it and probably won't even know what happened." Dib added, which made Zim worried.

Mabel noticed this and smiled. "Well Gravity Falls has some weird stuff. Maybe something here can bring you back." Zim and Dib were happy to hear this. "In the meantime, why not stay here?"

GIR got on his knees and beg to Zim.

Zim pondered for a moment. "Well I can't do a thing right now. I could possibly use the 'Mysteries' here to get back home. Heh heh, I could also use them to conquer My Earth."

Stan ducked down to Zim. "I'll tell you about those mysteries if you do a job for me."

Zim shook Stan's hand. "It's a deal, aging human!"

Mabel and GIR grinned with excitement. "OMG! You are going to have a lot of fun here, GIR!"

"Yaaaay!" cheered GIR as Mini-Moose floated around them.

Dib walked up to Dipper. "I don't know how that random wormhole appeared, but if two minds come together…"

Dipper grinned. "That are both fascinated by the paranormal…"

"We will be the best Paranormal Team ever!" they both said.

Wendy and Soos was just watching this, with no new friends of their own. "Well I'm going back to work and possibly fall asleep." said Wendy exiting.

"And I'll set up more beds. Soos, away!"

**End of Chapter**


	3. The Investigation Begins

**Chapter 3: **The Investigation Begins

After their introduction, Soos set up two more beds in Mabel and Dipper's room. Mabel led them into their room, located in the attic. "Welcome to the Penthouse!" She held her arms out like a game show assistant.

"But this is a room. Not a complete structure." said Zim. The alien walked to his bed that stood on the same side of the room as Mabel's. "I'm not too familiar with this 'bed'. How do you control it?"

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure he's dangerous?" Dipper asked Dib.

"Of course. He's just playing stupid." They looked at Zim who was lying under the bed.

"Ingenious!"

"…..We'll see." Dipper and Dib sat on Dipper's bed and the boy took out the journal. "Dinner will be ready in three hours. We should go over what's written here to see if we can find a way to get you guys home." Dipper handed the book to Dib, where he gotten a better view of each detail.

"Amazing. Half of the information I've already looked at is far more fascinating than what I can uncover. A living island that eat people, a crystal with the powers to shrink and grown anything, and Gnomes …. with leaf blowers as their weakness?"

Dipper laughed a bit. "I've actually added that. It was left unknown by the author."

"The author?" Dib flipped to the first page and found that the name was torn out.

"The identity of the author is probably the biggest mystery this book holds." Dipper added. "We don't know a thing about him. Only that he was probably hiding from someone and has six fingers."

Dib stood up and paced around. "This is interesting. Whoever was after the author, probably wants the information for himself. Or perhaps they didn't want the author discovering something important."

Dipper pointed to his head. "I know. I thought the same thing."

"But what could be so important that the human wants it left unknown?" Zim butted in on their conversation, which Dib was quick to speak up.

"Don't even think about it! This will be a lot safer if you don't get involved."

"Why not?" asked Mabel. "He's a space alien. A space alien who is also our guest. Why aren't you as excited as me, Mabel?"

Dib sighed. "O.K. look. Me and Zim are mortal enemies. I don't want to get into a huge fight in case your Crunkle kicks us out."

"Grunkle." corrected Mabel.

Zim looked away. "Well fine. I don't need your papers. I will solve all the mysteries from the Stan human."

Dipper snorted. "Well good luck with that."

"Why thank you, Dib rip-off."

"Hey!"

Zim marched downstairs. "Now I shall negotiate with Stan about the job he has for me."

Mabel giggled. "And I'll play with GIR and Mini-Moose!" Mabel opened the window, jumped out, and plumped to the ground. "I'm O.K.!"

Dib ran to the window to see Mabel perfectly fine. "Your sister is weird. Yet the complete opposite of what my sister is like." Dib looked at Dipper who was looking through the journal. "So what should we do first, partner?"

Dipper showed Dib a page. "Well I was looking to see if the journal has a way to send you home, but first I think I should show you some of the wonders of Gravity Falls."

Dib grinned with excitement. "Well what are we waiting for, let's go!" Before Dib walked out, Dipper stopped him.

"Just one more thing you should know." Dipper looked around and spoke silently. "I've tried telling some government officials about this, but that lead to a zombie attack. On the same day, I'd 'promised' Grunkle Stan I wouldn't go investigating the paranormal anymore. He said to only use this book in self-defense. That's why I haven't contacted anyone else about the journal. The only ones that know I'm still doing this are Mabel, Soos, Wendy, and this very important person we will see later. Got it?"

Dib understood and promised to keep quite.

* * *

><p>Dipper and Dib packed up for their short adventure and walked pass Grunkle Stan and Zim. "See ya, Grunkle Stan. Me and Dib are going to … go over defense strategies against the unknown."<p>

Stan laughed. "Sure thing. Just don't go looking for trouble." Stan turned his attention back to Zim. "So in other words, I want you to be part of the museum, then I'll tell you everything I know about what my business has."

Zim was a bit concerned about letting everyday human worms know about him. "Oh this Stan human drives a hard bargain. But on the upper hand, this isn't the same Earth. So there is no possible way my mission will be blown. However, this world government might dissect me anyways." Zim thought about it and got an idea. "Ah ha! I'll just tell them I'm friendly and give them the gift of knowledge. Humans will never dissect me now!" Zim laughed before turned back to Stan. "I accept. But remember, I'm friendly and bring gifts. Not an elite invader who have already replaced the brains of several humans with beef!"

Stan shook Zim's hand. "You got a deal!" Stan then narrowed his eyes and spoke softly to Zim. "Just if anyone asked, this is your very first time in Gravity Falls and you have nothing to do with the place."

With this, Zim started laughing evilly while Stan laughed greedily.

* * *

><p>Dipper and Dib walked outside and told Mabel they were going.<p>

"Well that's nice. Seeing you two get along; while I'm getting along with GIR and Mini-Moose!" GIR was dressed in a dinosaur costume while Mini-Moose was dressed like a butterfly. Mabel took out a tape recorder and started moving her mouth to poorly match the audio. "…Ah banana oil! They're destroy the town .."

Dib looked at Dipper who only shrugged.

They waved goodbye and walked into the forest. "So partner; what's the first thing on the list?" Dib asked.

"We're going to investigate a talking tree."

"A talking tree? Sounds good for a start."

Dipper pointed to some information. "Here it says, 'On one of my many hikes, I've uncovered a talking tree. He becomes humanized when offered food on the stump facing it."

"Would this ice cream cone do?" Dib held out some ice cream.

"Where you holding that the entire time?" asked Dipper.

Dib looked back at the ice cream. "Yeah, I guess so?"

Dipper looked back into the journal. "The talking tree should be right here." They came across a tree with a suspicious looking trunk that looks like a face. "Why didn't I notice this before?"

They walked up to the tree and Dib placed the ice cream on a stump. With that, the tree began moving and two eyes and a mouth opened. "FOOD!" It slurped up the ice cream with its leaf-tongue and reverted back to normal.

"….Was that it?" they both said.

Dipper read the section over. "Well, it did technically spoke." Dipper then removed his vest and covered the book.

"What are you doing?" asked Dib.

Dipper then took out a light used to reveal invisible ink. "The journal also has some secret messages written in visible ink." The light shines on the page and more words appeared. Dipper read it as Dib was getting more excited. "However, the tree will only say 'food' and eat the offering. Don't waste your time with it. Also do not stand on the stump."

The two looked at each other. "…..Well that was under-hyped. But that's just the first step!" Dib cheered. "What's next?"

Dipper checked his watch. "Looks like it's about time I see Old Man McGucket."

"Old Man McGucket?" asked Dib.

Dipper grinned with excitement "Dib, he is the man that once worked with the author!"

Dib jaw dropped. "Really?! But wait, why didn't he tell you who the author was already?"

Then out of nowhere, a crazy old pioneer dressed man with a long beard and bandages on his right hand popped out of nowhere. "Howdy, Dipper! I'm here for my weekly mind check up on that there book! We he he!"

Dib just looked at Dipper confused and worried. "I'll go into more details later." said Dipper. "But let's just say he had his memories whipped out too many times." Dipper looked around and handed the old man the book.

"Now let's see here." McGucket sat down and looked at a few pages. "Hmmmmm, this one seems oddly familiar." McGucket pointed at a blurred drawing of a fat creature with large red eyes and huge fangs.

Dipper's eyes widen. "Really, I was trying to figure this one out."

Dib got a look of the page and saw that the picture was the only thing on it. No words or symbols at all.

"This one intrigued me since I first found the book." Dipper explained. "There aren't even any hidden messages written in invisible ink." He turned back to McGucket. "Can you recall anything about that?"

McGucket though hard about the topic "Eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaah yes."

Dipper jumped up. "You do, what is it?"

McGucket bit his fingers. "This here's a vampire from another world."

"Another world?" asked Dib.

"VAMPIRE!" Mabel ran up straight to them with GIR and Mini-Moose glued to her sweater. "Does he sparkle?"

McGucket then noticed Dib. "That's one small head you got there, kid?"

"My heads not B-…. Uhhhhh. I'm kind of stuck on that one." Dib sat down and Dipper told McGucket that Dib came here from another world through a portal and has no idea why.

McGucket scratched his beard. "Wow, that sounds cliché. Which reminds me; I met the vampire face to face."

"Is he single?" asked Mabel.

"Why do you want to date a blood sucking person of the undead?" asked Dib, which caused Mabel to give the boy the most dreadful glare filled with nightmare fuel.

"They … are ….. MISUNDERSTOOD AND HOT!"

Dib stepped away from the girl.

"So McGucket, what can you tell us about the vampire?"

McGucket became worried. "Only that he's a mindless drinking machine. And he got a weapon that's part ducktape and part something else. Also he can send other people to different worlds. Now that sound more cliché."

Dib and Dipper gasped. "That vampire might be the one that sent me and Zim here." said Dib.

Mabel's pupils grew. "And you have to go back eventually, so we'll just have to meet the vampire. Eeehe he he." She grinned widely which showed off her braces.

"Are your teeth robots?" asked GIR.

Dipper thought about the vampire. "This could be our only lead on how you guys got here. And if it is a vampire, we have to prepare."

"Way ahead of ya." Dib pulled open his jacket and out came piles of garlic. "I don't know why I have these either."

Mabel was still not pleased. "When will boys learn that vampires are hot and misunderstood, well except for the evil ones …. GASP! It could be an evil vampire!"

McGucket started dancing. "I'll get the lower case t's dipped in holy milk."

Dipper pointed out toward the distance. "Well come one, we don't have much time in case that vampire shows his face. Team, go!"

Dipper, Dib, and McGucket ran toward the town to prepare themselves for the upcoming threat. However, Mabel was talking to GIR and Mini-Moose about evil vampires.

"If the evil vampires win, they make everyone cattle and make being sparkly illegal."

"Cows." GIR said quietly.

Mini-Moose squeaked.

"I agree. We'll help Dipper and Dib fight the evil. When are you ready to, Dipper?" Mabel then noticed that they were the only ones there. "Guys?"

"They left." said GIR.

"What, without me?" Mabel looked around and couldn't find a trace to where they went. "They can't do something dangerous without me. Come on, GIR and Mini-Moose. We're off."

Mabel dropped to the ground and rolled toward a random direction with GIR and Mini-Moose still stuck on her sweater.

**End of Chapter**

13-1-2-5-12 9-19 2-5-20-20-5-18 20-8-1-14 2-15-20-8 20-8-5 19-1-12-1-13-9 1-14-4 20-8-5

2-15-12-15-7-14-1 3-15-13-2-9-14-5-4

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Yes, I have decided to do a code for each chapter. They will only be 'A=1, B=2' and not three letters back or the other ones. And just to make this long one easy, the first words are 'Mabel is better'.


	4. Zim, Friend to all Human Slaves

**Chapter 4:** Zim, Friend to all Human Slaves

Far off into the known universe in Zim and Dib's world, the Irken Massive was following its schedule coarse as usual. Destroying civilizations, conquering planets, and stopping for snacks.

The large armada was being led by the Tallest, two Irkens much well 'taller' then their own kind. Their names are Purple and Red, they usually rule their empire or just mostly lounge around.

This day, however, they've received a call from Zim's computer. They spoke with the machine in the main cockpit through a screen of the Irken logo as other Irkens continued to work on other computers.

"So what you're saying is that Zim is no longer on Earth, or anywhere in existence?" asked Red.

"_Correct. I've detected his presence vanished in thin air. Literally. GIR Unit and Mini-Moose have also disappeared._"

Purple, who've just finished a soda, turned his head curiously. "Sooooo, Zim's dead?"

"_Not exactly. I would have contacted his dead body. There is no possible way to bring him back to wherever he has gone._"

Purple and Red looked at each other, and then hugged for victory. "EVEN BETTER!" Balloons dropped to the ground as the other Irkens shot silly string at each other.

"Everyone, this day shall be known as, 'Zim is Possibly Gone for Good' Day." Red spoke to his people.

"Party, Party, Party!" chanted Purple as he threw himself to their employees to be carried away.

The computer did not seem to be as joyful as the others. "_My Tallest, this does not seem to be the wisest time to celebrate. Zim could still be alive …. And might COME BACK._"

The Computer's warning went over their heads as Red turned on loud music.

"_Uhhhhhhhh_." The computer went silent for a brief moment. "_My Tallest, I think I know what happened to Zim_."

Purple managed to hear the computer. "Well whatever happened, I hope we never have to see him again." Suddenly, Purple was lifted up into the air along with Red and they were sucked right into a random portal that soon vanished.

* * *

><p>At the Mystery Shack, Stan Pines was speaking to a crowd of people who have gathered because Stan promised something amazing, but not free pizza.<p>

"Awwww." said a fat, disappointed man wearing a 'Free Pizza' t-shirt.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of Gravity Falls, today I would like to introduce the town to everyone's new friend. For a fee!"

Under a cloth, Zim was losing his focus. "Alright Zim, you bring gifts and not conquest. These aren't the same Earthlings, they're cleaner. So much cleaner."

"Behold, a real life alien!" Stan removed the cloth and revealed Zim. Everyone gasped and watched the alien silently.

"….Hi, happy humans? I'm F-F-friendly…."

They all stood there until, "Booo!" "You stink!" "FAKE!" "I can even see the puppeteer in that window chewing gum!"

All their attention turned to Wendy in the Gift Shop who took notice.

Everyone stood up and left, luckily forgetting their refunds.

"Just as stupid as ever." Stan said to himself. "They'll be back." Stan's happy time melted when he say the group turning back for their refund. "Uh oh. That's not what I meant!"

Zim panicked. "Nooo, I must keep my end of the bargain. Or else I won't find the mysteries."

Right before the people took their money back, Mabel came rolling by with GIR and Mini-Moose still glued onto her. "Did Dipper and Dib come here?"

GIR looked at the audience, torn himself off from Mabel, flipped into the air and landed with a striking pose. "HI!"

The people turned their attention away from their refunds and say. "Awwwwww, he's adorable." Then they gave Stan more money and looked at GIR being crazy.

Zim was quite amazed that GIR was able to hold onto the human's attention. He moved close to Stan and whispered if this counts as keeping his bargain. "Heck yeah! Not only that they forgot about their refunds; they're also just throwing uncounted money at me. Literally!"

Some resident threw their wallet at Stan's head with great force, knocking unconscious.

"Hey, you O.K.?" Zim poked him with a stick which got him up.

"Uhhh, where am I?" Stan looked up and gasped at a few well-dressed men in sunglasses. "Great, more government agents."

"WHAT?!" Zim gasped in fear. "Take GIR!"

Stan stood up and greeted the two. "Welcome to the Mystery Shack. Where the paranormal is displayed and each ticket is worth twice as much for the government."

The agents looked at Zim and inspect him quickly. "Yep, an alien." They held out their badges. "We're placing you under arrest and confiscating the 'Mystery Shack'! Also we're going to dissect you for science …. Government science … we're hiding you for the people's good ….. here's twenty."

Zim screamed. "Nooooo! I'm not hostile, I bring gifts." Zim checked himself and found nothing. "GIR! Give them presents!"

GIR stopped dancing on a goat's head. "BUUUURRRRIIIITOOOOS!" GIR's head open up and shot countless amounts of burritos.

"Huzzah!"

Everyone cheered for their free burritos; even Wendy came out and caught one with her hat, right before inspecting the food. "Where has this been and how old is it?"

The agents looked at each other. "We were told to take out hostile aliens only." One agent said to another in their group.

Another agent called headquarters. "Sir, we have a non-hostile alien that brings gifts. What should-" Before he could finish, a booming voice was heard in their phone.

"_Get on his good side now! We cannot mess this up like we did with Roosevelt! We didn't know he was just a tourist alien with the cure for the common cold. Please just make him feel right at home; and if any weather balloons show up, treat it like the ultimate evil."_

They glanced at each other for a moment before speaking. "We like to welcome you to Earth. Is there anything we can do for you? Like say how our government is the best in the world?"

Zim thought for a moment, but Stan whispered to him on what to say. "I'm on vacation and thought that Gravity Falls and the Mystery Shack are worthy enough for ZIIIIIM! Also this is my first time here, which means I have nothing to do with any past events of this location. I just want to meet the people and probably tell everyone stuff!"

The Agents nodded. "Fine with us. If you need anything, just contact us. We'll be around."

Stan whispered something else to Zim. "Also, I don't like spies; especially that Santa Claus."

Stan just gave Zim a confused look.

When the agents left, both Zim and Stan sighed. "Oh boy. That was close."

"Tell me about it." said Stan. "They could have uncovered, never mind."

Zim looked at Stan curiously, but noticed how the humans were admiring GIR. "Fascinating. These humans grew a liking to my idiotic robot. Perhaps this will save me time for Stan to tell me all about Gravity Falls."

Stan laughed at the site of GIR juggling Gompers the goat, Mabel, Soos, the Hand Witch, and Manly Dan Corduroy. "He's a natural. After we're done for the day, I'll tell you all about the magical Wombat-icorn."

"Oooooooooh. Amazing."

Mabel walked away from GIR and toward Zim and Stan. "Grunkle Stan, did Dipper come here with Dib. I heard they were going to defend themselves from a dimension traveling vampire that could be evil."

"Dimension-who huh?" asked Zim.

"Dipper found out about this vampire that may be the one that brought you here."

Zim gasped. "A vampire, that brought me and Dib here? He shall suffer that wrath of ZIIIIM! GIR, you are needed!"

"Now hold on there." Stan said. "The Mystery Shack doesn't close till another hour. You can take your little robot and go vampire hunting after we're done."

The people watching GIR hug a Chihuahua puppy over-heard Stan. "Vampire?!" they all gasped and gathered around Stan and Zim.

"What do they want?" Zim thought to himself.

Stan however was quick to react. "I got some garlic spray in storage." He looked down to Zim. "Keep them busy while I stock up in the gift shop."

Zim freaked out shortly when everyone was looking at him. "What do you want!?" he blurted out of fear.

Zim could see the worry in their eyes. "What is it about a vampire?" "Are we next?" "Do they sparkle?!"

Zim became frantic. "I don't know. Ask the girl human about the vampire that …. Sparkle, wha?"

Mabel saw how worried Zim was becoming and took action. "Everybody, look at me!" Everyone looked over to Mabel, making Zim calm. "I, Mabel, have heard about this vampire. I'll tell you everything, in song!"

GIR suddenly threw up a karaoke machine. "I was on a diet last week!" The little robot threw the mic and Mabel caught it with her teeth.

"Pituwee!" She spat out the mic. "And a one-a and a two-a! Ooooooooooh! Zim here is an alien, an alien from another world. But he has to go back soon as he becomes a whatever rhymes with world."

Zim just stood there, listening to Mabel making up lyrics. "What kind of noise is the human girl speaking, and why are the other humans attracted to this? This must be the work of Gravity Falls's secrets."

Zim then saw Mabel doing the worm and everyone chanted 'Go, Go, Go'.

"Wait, why do they want her to go? This doesn't make sense! This could get the humans angry and turn against me! GIR, do your stupid thing … GIR?" Zim looked around and saw that his robot was nowhere in sight. "GIIIIIIIIR!"

**space**

In the forest, GIR was looking at a tree. "My scanner can see you behind that tree!" Then, a tall, skinny wooden-like creature appeared from behind the tree and made a sound similar to a maraca. "Groot!"

S**pace**

Zim believed he was running out of time. "Think, Zim. Think!" He looked around and saw a man opening a car door. "Ah ha!" He took out his ray gun and shot the man, leaving him unconscious. "Got him, I mean. Oh no! Someone that isn't causing you joy that's not that girl or I have hurt this innocent man!"

Everyone turned around and gasped at the victim, except for the Hand Witch. "It was him, the small green person. I saw him zap that poor man I was going to hit on!"

The people quickly turned hostile and marched toward Zim. "Wait, you don't want me! You want him!" Zim pointed at the Chihuahua puppy.

"Arf." The puppy yelp as he give looked at everyone with the biggest eyes.

Zim gulped when everyone continued the march toward him. "No, stand back you filthy humans!"

Manly Dan sniffed his armpits. "I knew I needed a shower! Hey look, the guy's getting up!"

The man slowly picked himself up and everyone cheered.

"He's O.K.!" cheered a random woman. "And he has my purse I've left in my car … which he opened …. And is now running away HEY!"

The man ran faster away from the people, right into the totem pole. He landed to the ground unconscious again and two policemen tackled him.

"We got him, we got the purse snatcher!" cheered a skinny, white cop by the name of Deputy Durland. The second cop, a short but fat black man named Sheriff Blubs placed handcuffs on the crook. "This was not your lucky day, thanks to that little hero there."

Everyone cheered for the alien and chanted 'hero'

"What, me a hero to humans? Never!" They picked up the alien against his free will and carried him away. "Ahhhh, unhand me you stupid tree people! The Irken Empire will bring upon vengeance!"

"Here cheer for our hero!" the citizens were oblivious to the alien's empty threats. But they did cause Zim to have a vision on what this could lead.

(Vision)

Zim was sitting on a thrown as hideous humans praised him. Then the Massive landed and out came the Tallest wearing t-shirts reading 'Invader Zim is the Best'. "Zim, how could you?!" Red gasped.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Zim pleaded.

Blue mouth lowered in sadness. "You sided with the enemy, and you were our favorite!" Blue held onto Red and cried. "Why was I even born?"

Red, with tears in his eyes sentence the once 'Most Important Invader, Forever' to live the rest of his life as GIR's new scratch post.

"Hurray!" cheered GIR who have already taken Zim's old role as Invader and the Tallest's favorite.

"Give me a hug!" shouted Blue as he and Red hugged the robot.

"Noooo! Nooooooo! Noooooooo!"

(End Vision)

"My Tallest! I'm not their savior! I'll enslave everyone in this putrid town and have them build a statue of you two!"

The people carried Zim out of site as Mini-Moose follow them far behind.

Mabel saw the whole scene and thought it was heartwarming. "Awwww, they already love him." She looked down at the puppy and petted him. "And you are just so adorable!"

Grunkle Stan came out of the Gift Shop. "Garlic Spray! Works on Vampires and inlaws! Buy one get one free for fifty dollars!" Stan noticed that everyone is gone, including Zim and his minions. "Where'd they go?"

Mabel told him that Zim is not a town hero.

"Really, and he's staying with us for the time being. Perfect! I can have people take pictures with The Hero of Gravity Falls. I'll make a fortune!"

Mabel hugged the puppy. "Also, did you see Dipper and Dib?"

Stan scratched his head. "I think they were in the forest. But I haven't seen then since."

"Oh, then they must be down town to go fight that vampire! Not without Mabel!"

Mabel was about to run off, before Stan caught her. "Now wait just a minute. I'm not letting my niece go around fighting vampires. Not without this!" Stan placed a garlic necklace around Mabel's neck. "This will keep vampires and bill collectors away. Also give him this cheap sunblock. He'll think its Quality over Quantity."

"Thank you, Grunkle Stan. Now I'm off!" Mabel jumped onto her bike and rode away.

Stan just stood there laughing. "You naïve girl. Vampires only come out in the full moon. No wait, that will be werewolves. Uh oh!" Stan ran back into the shack and took out a bat. "Wendy, close up shop early. I'm protecting my niece from some vampire boys!"

"Sure thing, and make sure you give an extra beating to the ones that sparkle." Wendy cheered him on as he got into his car and went after them.

Meanwhile, Gompers the Goat was just standing around eating grass. He turned his head and saw the puppy playing with its tail. The puppy soon gave up when it noticed Gompers. His smile disappeared and his pupils shrunk. He scratched his ear and a large chunk of fur came off. He breathed heavily as saliva poured from his mouth like a starved stray dog.

Gompers turned around and walked away toward the town as the puppy followed it like a fully grown predator.

**End of Chapter**

20-1-11-5 1 23-9-12-4 7-21-5-19-19


	5. Team Mystery vs El Chupacabra

Northwest Manor Mystery thoughts.

"Yes! Pacifica is finally 100 percent likable! But will there be shipping with Dipper? … Too soon to make things official.

But now it looks like the end of the world is coming and a new episode will be up in about …. 2 weeks. …. I hope they show previews soon.

To anyone that is not old enough for the T section, I've posted a new story of Chester A. Bum reviewing the latest episode of Gravity Falls.

BTW; this fanfiction will take place before the latest episode and the giant vampire bat will probably make a cameo and play no important role. I still have my idea for the dimension traveling vampire. Speaking of vampire.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5: <strong>Team Mystery vs. El Chupacabra

Dipper, Dib, and McGucket were walking right into the town as McGucket told one of his personal stories. "And that's when I swallowed fifty frog eggs whole right before wrestling a cactus."

Dib eyed the prospector. "Are you sure he's trying to get better?"

McGucket tapped his feet. "Oh yeah. I'm working on fixin that their laptop. Dipper! Should have it done close to that their party the rich Northwest are throwin."

"That's great!" Dipper said with glee. "But not too crazy about some party, nor the Northwest. Especially Pacifica." Dipper thought back about how nasty she can be. "She's the worst."

After that thought, Dib then recalled everything he knows about vampires. "They burn in sun, weak to holy objects, do not have reflections, and hate Garlic Festivals, wait what?"

That's when the three noticed that they are standing right in the middle of a Garlic Festival. From left to right, all the people have decorated the town with garlic. Garlic reefs hung on the door, Garlic was being tide to balloons and floated off, people dressed in garlic costumes, and some people even participated in Garlic sculptures.

"Yahoooooooooooo!" McGucket flipped in the air. "I forgot the garlic festival is today!" With that, McGucket left the kids and jumped into a tub of garlic butter.

"… I've seen weirder." Dib looked around and saw all kind of garlic products like Garlic toothpaste, garlic hats, and garlic deodorant. "Well this is lazily convenient."

Dipper wasn't aware that any festival was going on today, especially about a certain weakness to vampires. "Well partner, we're going to have a long supply of ammo for that vampire."

"Partner! Ehe he he."

Dipper felt a little creep out by Dib's glees and twitches. "O.K. I'll go check over there for any useful supplies. You should check the other side to cover more ground."

"Alright. That vampire won't know what'll hit him!"

* * *

><p>"Argh, I can't believe I got stuck in traffic." Stan Pines was stranded in a line of cars leading to the garlic festival. "I had that one chance of clearing out those garlic sprays and making tons of cash, but noooooo." Stan looked outside to see the long line. "Looks like I have to abandon the old girl. I can't let that blood sucking goth get to Dipper and Mabel. They'll be killed! Or worst, turn into goths!"<p>

Then zooming right passed Stan, was Mabel. "Onwards!" She performed a wheely and passed by all the drivers who all sighed in envy of the girl's freedom.

"Mabel! ….. How'd she get behind me when I went after .. No time!" Knowing that her life is on the line, Stan exited his car and ran after her, but was then stopped.

"Hold it right there, Stan Pines." Officer Blubs and Deputy Durland were blocking Stan's way.

"Hey, Blubs. How'd we get here when we were bringing our hero to the festival?" asked Deputy Durland.

Officer Blubs placed his hand on Durland's shoulder. "When you're an officer, you can do whatever you want."

Stan sighed. "Alright, what is it this time?"

"You were going to abandon your car on 'Car Appreciation Day'." answered Blubs.

"Car what now?" asked Stan. "I though today was about Garlic."

"Garlic most of the time overshadows Cars." said Blubs. "Now get back into your vehicle. Or we'll have to use the taser."

Stan growled. "Look, my grand-niece is about to be vampire chow. If you don't mind I have to go SAVE HER LIFE."

The two cops looked at each other and laughed. "Ha, you think a vampire will eat your niece on 'Garlic Appreciation Day'?" asked Durland.

"What, but you just said it was 'Car Appreciation Day'. Arh forget you two!" Stan was about to walk pass them until they've threaten him with a taser.

"Don't push your luck. We've trained for five years in the way of the taser." said Blubs.

"Yeah, unless you're some kind of giant bat, we're invisible." said Durland.

"That's invincible." Blubs corrected. "And even if it was, you can never hide from everyone's blessed eyes." Blubs said in a heart-warm tone.

"Sheesh, alright." Stan walked back into his car, which the cops quickly covered in yellow tape. "What the H is up with this?"

"That will keep you from breaking the law." said Officer Blubs.

Stan just laughed at the remark. "You clueless young people."

Gompers the goats came into the scene. "Come on, Deputy Durland. Let's go to the crowing of the Garlic King!" The two police men hopped on the goat. Gompers looked behind him and dashed away, despite the extra weight.

"Well there they go." Stan looked around and was going to open the door. "They think some tape will stop ….. heh?" Stan couldn't open the door. "What the heck is this tape made of?" Stan shook off the thought and just opened the window. "Well that's not gonna stop me!" Stan leaped through the tape ….. actually he got stuck in it like a fly on a fly paper. "Why is this all sticky!?" Stan tried breaking loose, but this caused him only more imprisonment as the tape wrapped around his whole body. "Who made this!?" Stan landed to the ground with everything covered but his face. That's when Stan noticed a product tag on the tape that read 'Lil' Gideon's Police Tape. Works great with Old, grumpy, tight-wads whom name rhymes with Dan Dines.'

Grunkle Stan's face boiled with anger. "G…G….G….G... GIDEOOOOOOOON!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the Gravity Falls Prison, the ex-psychic Gideon was making License plate and he felt something. With a whimsical and slight psychotic smile, he laughed joyfully.<p>

* * *

><p>As Grunkle Stan struggled to get free, the puppy Chihuahua from before walked toward him. The small animal had now lost more fur and his eyes twitched around. Stan noticed that it was sniffing him. "Pee on me, and you're dead."<p>

The puppy glared at Stan and hissed like a demon.

"Woah there!" The puppy twitched some more and Stan saw its paws growing longer. Before reacting, the animal ran toward the direction of town, and Mabel. "This isn't good! I'm coming, Mabel!" Stan crawled after the monster like a caterpillar.

* * *

><p>Back at the Garlic Festival, Dib and Dipper reunited and showed each other what they brought. "I got garlic holy water!" Dib spoke. "This will burn his skin twice as face, which will make it easier to impale him with this garlic stake!"<p>

Dipper became excited. "Well I don't want to brag, but I got this solar flash light that shoots light and particles of garlic. I for the life of me have no idea how it works, when it was made, or how long it took to invent this, but this is literally the ultimate weapon against vampires."

Dib grinned with excitement, but stopped himself. "Hold it, if that vampire is responsible for bringing me and the alien here, we can't just kill it right on sight."

Dipper realized the situation. "You're right. We need to trap that vampire without killing it. Since he can turn into a bat, our best shot is to trap him in a cage with little space for escape. But to get him in there, we need to force him …. With these garlic swords." Dipper drew out two swords made of garlic. Dib smiled and took a blade. "This is as crazy as everyone back home think I am! Together nothing will stop us!"

Their attention turned to the stage as Officer Blubs and Deputy Durland called upon everyone with Gompers standing next to them. "It's time now to crown the Garlic King!"

Everyone cheered.

"This year's king caught a perp!" shouted Durland. "Introducing the little green fella, Zin!"

"It's ZIIIIIIIIIM!"

Dib looked over and gasped as the people who took Zim threw him on stage. "Zim!? What is he doing here?!"

Zim picked himself off with disgust. "Filthy humans. You will all bow to me!" Then the police placed a crown with Garlic sitting on top. "All hail the festival's Garlic King!"

"Heh?" Zim checked the crown and saw everyone cheering. "You already surrendered?" Zim shook his head and smiled. "And here I thought you were all stupid. But if the Tallest asked, tell them you surrendered when you saw the awesome might of ZIIIIIIM!"

Dib, forgetting that Zim's title really means nothing, held the garlic sword tight and leaped onto stage. "Not so fast, Alien!" Dib held the sword close to him as the world suddenly turned to wide screen. "Today you will be over thrown by the Human Race!"

Zim gasped. "Dib!" He looked at the people. "Minions, seize him! Protect your Garlic King!"

Everyone in the audience just assumed this was some sort of act as the two cops blocked Dib. "Now hold on there, what do you think you're doing?" asked Officer Blub.

"Pssss, maybe this is just part of a show and we didn't get the memo?" said Deputy Durland.

"Oh, I get it. And this must be the part where the villain defeats us, but is soon vanquished by the king." The two cops nodded and they collapsed. "Oh no, this vile man stopped us!"

"Who can save us!?"

Dib jumped over the police and pointed his sword at Zim. "Surrender. I won't allow you to harvest any more slaves." Dib was caught off guard as everyone cheered for Zim. "What is wrong with you all? He's an alien! I real life alien!" with one swing, Dib knocked the grown off Zim. "See, here are his antennas, and his large pink eyes!"

"Yeah, some of us know he's an alien." said a certain Goth Punk teen named Robbie in the front row.

"I know you don't believe me, wait what?"

Another teenager, named Tambery, who had her arm wrapped around Robbie, showed Dib and Zim her phone. "See this Headbook page? Mabel told everyone in town that's he's some sort of alien. But I'll gladly take him over those ghosts in that abandon convenient store."

Dib and Zim examined the phone. "Wow, Mabel warned everyone …. What kind of phone is this? It looks all futuristic."

Zim, however, grinned. "So this Mabel Syrup girl told everyone in this town about me. No wonder they were wise enough to see me as a threat. Mwa ha ha ha!"

Tambery took her phone back as Robbie said something else. "Yeah, but looks like only a few of us believe it. Everyone here thinks it's all an act. They're still cheering for the little green guy."

They looked at the audience and saw that they were oblivious to the small conversation.

"But he, and I, and them, and doom!" Dib couldn't apprehend the situation. "They cannot be this stupid!"

Zim just laughed at all this. "Yes, Yes! Now Mini-moose, destroy the Dib human once and for all! But keep him alive in case I get bored taking over the world too quickly."

Mini-Moose floated on stage and his eyes glowed red.

Dib was not prepared for this upcoming attack. He was about to try leaping out, but then Dipper jumped on stage. "Not so fast!" Dipper looked through his journal as Zim remembered it contain mysterious secrets. "I have a spell here that will make your attack backfired horribly."

Zim gasped. "Stop the attack, Mini-Moose!" Mini-Moose canceled his laser eyes as Zim cautiously approached Dipper.

"Not to close, or I'll speak a magic word and turn all the animals against you!"

Zim knew that he was in a tight situation. "Curse this Dib Clone. How dare he use magic against Zim! I must think of a strategy!" Zim looked around the audience and saw a small animal approaching. "Ah Ha! Look Dib Clone. A puppy! Go say 'Awwww' at it without looking at that book!"

Dipper was about to ignore Zim's obvious distraction, but gasped when he saw it walk on stage. The puppy was not completely hairless and his eyes swollen black. It even caused Robbie and Tambery to back away slowly.

"Woah, that dog really needs a vet."

The puppy looked over at Gompers and stick out a long, alien-like tongue.

"Uhhhh, is this normal for Earth Dogs?" Zim stepped back away from the creature as it made bone-snapping noises and grew larger. "Dib Clone, is this in your book?"

Dipper flipped through the pages. "I don't see anything about this here. It's completely new!"

Everyone jumped back as the creature stopped changing. They looked upon the final form of this greenish-reddish skin, Quadrupedalism, human sized dog with kangaroo-like hind legs and sharp claws on its front paws. Spines ran down its body with small bat wings near its neck. The head of the beast remained canine, but bares large, sharp fangs, ready to pierce through its next victim. It hissed loudly, which caused Gompers to run away scared.

As Dipper continued searching, Dib knew what this was. "It's an El Chupacabra! The goat-sucker!"

It all became clear to Dipper now. "Of course. Wait, could this be our vampire?"

Seeing that the goat ran off, the Chupacabra looked at Dib, Dipper, Mini-Moose, and Zim. "Mystery Human, do something!" Zim yelled out his ray-gun in defense.

Dib shouted to Dipper that he should use the spells he was going to use on Zim. "I as bluffing about that because I know Zim will believe me! I got nothing on this!"

The Chupacabra leaped several feet into the air, ready to pounce on them from above. They quickly dodged the attack and the monster had his claw stuck in the wooden stage. Dib took this opportunity to use the Garlic sword against the beast. He flipped into the air to stab the creature, but the blade shattered since it was made of food.

"Right, does not have any weaknesses related to vampires." Dib flipped way as the creature freed himself. "Garlic is not going to do anything against him!"

"You're right." said Dipper. "And if we survive this, you have got to show me how to do this flips."

The Chupacabra snarled at the two, but then was attacked by a laser. The Chupacabra howled in pain as it saw Zim. "No one destroys the Dib Human except me, ZIIIIIIM!"

The Chupacrabra twitched a little in irritation and ran after Zim. Zim activated his robotic spider legs and dodged the beast. "Mini-Moose, attack the monster!"

"Erh!" Mini Moose shot lasers out if its eyes and stuck the beast. The beast jumped away and threw a car at Zim and Mini-Moose. Mini-moose floated away as Zim blast off with his jet pack, and everyone in the audience continued to think this is all just a show.

"Humans!" Zim shouted through a megaphone. "Obey your master and destroy that Chupa-cha-cha dog monster! NOOOOW!"

"Rrrrah!" As Zim continued to screech into the megaphone, the Chupacabra covered his ears in pain.

"Dipper, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Dib asked with a heroic grin.

"The El Chupacabra hearing is too sensitive to loud noises. Also El mean 'the' in Spanish, but we know its weakness." Dipper looked around and saw Mini-Moose floating near Gompers who was hiding behind a barrel. "I'll go get the floating Moose toy to attack the El, I mean the the, I mean Chupacabra. You help Zim shout at him. I think you can yell louder and longer than me."

"Got it!" They break and Dib stood in front of the monster. "Hey ugly! Can you hear me? I said CAN YOU HEAR ME!?"

The Chupacabra continued covering his ears instill Zim shot him. He landed on the ground and noticed the monster can't take loud noises. "Ha, a Human can't yell as lowed as an Irken. HEY, HEY, FILTHY EARTH DOG! EAT DIB!"

"NO, EAT THE ALIEN!"

The Chupacabra couldn't handle the noises and dashed at the two with his wide mouth open to bite his foes. Dipper got to Mini-Moose and Gompers ran away. "Small-Moose! Shoot your lasers at his legs. It will slow him down!"

Mini-Moose just remained there, floating in the air.

"That thing's attacking!"

Mini-Moose continued to do nothing.

"Hello? Are you still working?"

Back with Zim and Dib, they were distracting and dodging the Chupacabra quiet well, but they knew they can't yell forever. "I can't do this forever! I have to destroy this monster now!" Zim took out his ray gun, but the Chupacabra quickly slashed it out of his hands, cutting through the advance technology. "Nooooo ack ka!" Zim began coughing.

"Looks like Zim hurt his voice! This could mean the end of Zim! But how will I finish the Chupacabra off for Ack ka!" Dib, too, started losing his voice. "Oh … no!"

Zim dodged another swipe and landed near the tub of garlic butter. "I … can still yell!"

Then Old Man McGucket jumped out of the tub, scaring Zim half to death. "You have got to try this!" McGucket then forced a handful of garlic down Zim's mouth. The alien spit them all out and was tackled by the Chupacabra. "Unhand me!"

The monster was about to rip Zim's head off, but Mini-Moose tackled the creature with no results. The Chupacabra turned his head toward Dipper whom have just thrown the moose at it. "I uhhhh couldn't get him to work."

The Chupacabra held his tongue out with a starved glare. As it was about to puncture Dipper, Dib jumped on its head. "No one attacks my 'Mystery Partner'!" He started yelling and pulling on its ears the best he could, but the monster rolled around and forced Dib off.

The creature's head felt awful, but he wasn't down yet. He saw Dipper and Dib running into a stand of Garlic Bread and lunged at them. He destroyed the stand within seconds and grabbed a hold of something. It hissed one more time before using its tongue to feast, but what it instead took was a garlic bread, being held by GIR who was just about it eat it.

The little robot jaw dropped and his eyes started tearing. "I-it was supposed to go into my tummy … WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The inhuman pitch of the robot's scream was so powerful that the El Chupacrabra collapsed and shrunk down to its puppy form.

Dipper, Dib, Mini-Moose, and Zim walked toward them and saw the defeated puppy lying on the ground. Zim then quickly took a piece of garlic bread and shove it down GIR's mouth. The little robot raised its arms in victory and quite down.

"Another species defeated by the hand of Zim!" Zim cheered for his self-proclaimed victory.

Dipper just rolled his eyes. "I still don't think he's a threat."

Then they saw the town folks approaching them. Zim took this opportunity and demand them to capture Dib and the Dib Clone. "Take them away and feed them to the Earth Pigeons!"

Everyone, instead, cheered. "Hurray for the Garlic King, and his sidekicks!"

"Sidekicks?" asked Dib and Dipper.

Everyone got into the act and shook their hands and the children treated Zim, Mini-Moose, and GIR as cherished cartoon characters. "I sign my name to no one!"

Dib and Dipper just shook their hands awkwardly as they all eventually returned the festival, still having no clue what actually happened.

Dib just stood there, looking at his hand.

"Well that was something." said Dipper. "We've saved the day, and were called sidekicks of Zim. Even though GIR actually stopped the Chupacabra." Dipper remembered Dib saying that no one appreciate him back home. "Are you feeling O.K.?"

Dib looked up, and jumped into the air in victory. "That was the closest thank you I have ever received from saving the world!"

They made Dipper both happy and sad for his new friend. "Well then, I guess now we have to take care of …. Oh no. He's standing up!" Dib and Dipper saw the Chupacabra puppy standing up, but immediately curled up in fear. They sort of felt sorry as it covered his eyes.

"You know at the end of the day, it's still just an animal surviving. Maybe we could let some chicken loose so it can suck their blood and it will be on its way." said Dib.

As they thought of more peaceful ways on what do with the puppy, Old Man McGucket jumped out of nowhere. "I just rubbed my eyes with Garlic salt." He looked at the puppy and gasped. "My word, Fluffy!"

"Fluffy!?"

McGucket picked the puppy up and placed earmuffs on it. "Fluffy, what did I tell you about taking those earmuffs off. You always go on these rampages thanks to your head acks." The puppy sighed peacefully as it fell asleep in the prospector's arms.

"Wait, this is your pet?!" asked Dipper.

"Why yes she is! And my battery charger!"

(Flashback)

Fluffy was running on a treadmill as it chases a chicken tied to a rope in front of the animal.

(End Flashback)

"So this isn't the vampire that travels between dimensions?" asked Dib.

"Nope!" McGucket petted the creature. "Well that was fun. I should take this little girl home and work on remembering my brain parts. I'll tell you if I remember anything about that vampire. See ya."

McGucket slapped himself and ran off like a raccoon.

"What's up with that guy?" asked Zim with GIR stuffing his mouth with Garlic.

"Don't ask." Dipper said.

Zim looked back at the old man. "Dib, did you say something about a dimension traveling vampire." They both thought that Zim couldn't use this information to take over anything, so they filled him in about the vampire and briefly about McGucket. "So this vampire could be the one that brought us here. He shall pay for keeping me from my mission and trapping me here with monsters like that dog and that Human Worm over there."

Dib and Dipper jolted up, but saw Grunkle Stan covered in police tape crawling toward them. He reached them and gasped in exhaustion. "Huh, uh. Mabel …. Said something about a vampire … am I too late. Is she a goth now?"

Dipper took out a pocketknife and cut the tape off Stan. "There was no vampire, only a Chupacabra that for some reason McGucket keep as a pet. We already took care of it and I haven't seen Mabel yet."

Dib also explained about the vampire and left anything out that has to do with McGucket.

Stan picked himself up and brushed off some dirt. "So there's a vampire going around. With this festival, I wouldn't worry too much. They have enough garlic to last a month. I'm sure we'll get him before he does anything. Speaking of which, where did Mabel go. She should have been here by now."

They all looked around and saw Mabel coming toward them. "Don't worry, Mabel is here to help! Am I early?" Mabel saw the wrecked property and saw no sign of any vampires.

"Sorry, Sis. We already took care of the problem." Dipper said.

"We?" asked Mabel.

"Yep!" said Dib. "You should have seen it. It was an El Chupacabara. It jumped high into the air and we all dodged it. Then I tried stabbing it with a garlic sword, but it didn't work! Then we yelled at it and Zim's robot finished it off. Then everyone praised us! Isn't that right, partner?"

"Partner?" Mabel saw Dib wrapping his arm around Dipper. "And you used a Garlic Sword."

Dipper laughed. "I have to give him credit. He can do these flips and he actually jumped on the monster's head. It was crazy!"

"Not as crazy as my stunts." Mabel said.

Dipper didn't seem to hear Mabel. "And this wasn't even the real vampire. Just imagine the crazy things we have to do next! Partner!"

Mabel's eyes widened. "Well of course you'll need me to tag along too. Dib and Zim are only going to be here for ….. uuuuhhh."

Dib then realized something. "There's actually no way of knowing when that vampire will show up."

"And I'm not letting you go looking for trouble. At least without me." said Grunkle Stan. "And I'm a busy man. I don't have all day. So the best you can do is build defenses for when it does come. Which could be tomorrow, next week, next month, or the rest of summer."

"The rest of summer?"

Dipper thought about this. "You're right. We can't waste time." He looked at Dib. "We should head back. After a good night sleep, we'll spend the rest of tomorrow finding more garlic, holy objects, and check maps for any rivers which vampires can't cross."

"Dipper?" Dipper looked at Mabel. "But we were going to go bowling tomorrow. Just the two of us."

"Sorry, Mabel. But we have to help bring them home." Dipper pointed at Dib, and Zim doing some shenanigans with his henchmen. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Mabel smiled. "Sure thing."

Stan checked his watch. "It's getting close to dinner. Let's have something not garlic related. Come on you guys."

Stan gathered everyone and they all walked to his car. Zim removed the police tape with help from GIR and they all drove off, with of course Stan yelling at Zim and Dib to behave. When they got back to the Mystery Shack, they saw Wendy laughed with two people, which she then motioned them to hide in some shrubs.

Stan was the first to step out of the car. "Hey Wendy, I hope you didn't bring your friends over. You break it you buy the whole set."

Suddenly Wendy became frantic. "There you guys are?" She started gasping for air. "I have to speak with Zim."

"Eh, what do you want, Human?" Zim asked in a snood tone.

Wendy got onto her knees. "It's the Tallest!"

Zim's eyes bulged open. "My Tallest? Have they come to save me?"

Wendy looked at Zim with grief. "Yes, but when they arrived …. Someone captured them!"

Zim gasped and he grabbed Wendy's face. "Who DAAARESSSS captured the Tallest!? TELL ME!"

Wendy pulled Zim off. "I don't know! They said they wanted revenge or something. But I do know where they went." She pointed down south. "They flew datta way!"

Zim looked toward the direction. "I'M COMING MY TALLEST!" GIR activated his jets and Zim jumped on. "ENEMIES! YOU SHALL FACE THE WRATH OF ZIIIIIIIM!"

GIR blasted off with Zim far, far away from the Mystery Shack. Wendy watched them until they were out of sight, and fell to the ground laughing. "Oh … Oh man! He's so Ah ha ha ha!"

Then everyone else heard laughed coming from two people. Dib looked and gasped at two beings the same species as Zim. "Zim's learders! I have you know!" Dib jumped into the air to kick them in the face, but Red grabbed him while still laughing.

"Please, just wait. Ah ha ha!"

Everyone waited several minutes before asking anything.

"Wendy, why are the Tallest here?" asked Dib. "And why aren't they hostile?"

Wendy wiped a tear out of her eye from laughter. "Relax, they're cool. They just came here when you all left."

(Flashback)

Wendy locked the door to the shack and started eating a candy bar. That was when Red and Purple fell out of a portal. They looked around, wondering where they are, and saw Wendy eating. "Are you gonna finish that?"

(End Flashback)

"This human girl is awesome!" cheered Purple. "And Earth Snacks are great!"

Red stood up. "She told us all about how Zim got here, so we heh heh thought up of this plane to get him away from this place."

Dib didn't understand the Tallest ways. "But why do you want Zim to go? If it's about scouting this world, you could just order an elite invader like Zim to do it."

The Tallest and Wendy almost lost it. "We, herh, we … we wanted to test Zim's loyalty too." Purple said as Wendy began tearing.

"But do not worry about this world." said Red. "Wendy told us that we are stuck here from some portal. We will cooperate to get us back home. In addition we will pose no threat to your world." said Red.

"Especially a world with snacks." said Purple.

Grunkle Stans eyes turned into dollar signs. "And you can stay here. I'm sure everyone will like to meet the Tallests at the Mystery Shack."

"We don't use the plural term." said Red.

"Whatever. I'll fix some guest beds in Soos's break room. Come, I guess I'm feeding four mouths total."

Wendy told them that she's going home and Dipper filled Wendy in about the vampire quietly. "Don't sweat it. I used that garlic spray on my axe. Also one more thing." Wendy whispered to Dipper and Mabel about how Zim is actually the worst invader ever.

"I knew it, but I don't think Dib is aware." They looked at Dib who was trying to get some Irken secrets before Stan warned them not to do anything rash.

"We'll keep that from Dib too." said Mabel.

After Stan set in the ground rules, they all waved goodbye to Wendy and entered the Mystery Shack for a good night rest. What new adventure awaits them tomorrow? Tune in whenever.

**End of chapter**

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><p><strong>4-9-16-9-6-9-3-1?<strong>


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